The stupidest thing I have ever done.

This one is hard to narrow down, but if pressed, I would say either cliff diving while frying quite hard on acid, or snorting coke and smoking weed while driving to LA.

That second one is worth examining further. When I was 18, I inherited a fucking sweet 1964 Dodge Coronet from a great uncle I had never met. It had 34,000 original miles. (The car, not my great uncle.) It was white with red leather interior. The engine was a 424 or 436 or a 666 or some combination of numbers that made it go REAL FUCKING FAST. In other words, the car was tits.

So one fine day, my friends Rob, Nate and Don and I decided we should visit our friend Pete who lived in Costa Mesa, which is a total shithole, by the way. This very wise decision was made at around 6:30 in the evening. We wisely agreed that the road trip should begin right now, so we set off in my sweet-ass car, which was christened The Cloud, as it was big and white and thundered and moved like the wind. Nice, huh?

Since we were all 18-19 years old, we were well-versed in the exploits of Hunter Thompson, whom we revered as a god, as all young, stupid red-blooded American men are want to do. In honor of Mr. Thompson, we brought along a case of beer (Blatz, $2.95 a 12er ���cause it was 1987!), all the weed we could muster, a 3-foot glass bong and some of the cocaine. I was at the wheel and the drug/alcohol binge began as soon as we hit Interstate 5. Actually, the alcohol binge began as the car doors were closing. The drug binge didn���t begin until the Interstate. I just want to be clear about this.

The car has very large and made in the 60���s, so it had the kind of suspension that simulates a magic carpet ride, even without the aid of insane amounts of substances. This effect is deceiving in that it is very easy to be speeding along at 95 MPH without even realizing it. It���s almost as easy to be pushing 120 MPH on the downhill sections of the Grapevine.

So this is all very, very stupid and dangerous so far. But we haven���t gotten to the cocaine, yet. We finished the beer around Bakersfield (maybe, maybe not, but how cool is the phrase ���finished the beer around Bakersfield���? Answer: VERY fucking cool!). The bong has been passed around a few times already. Nate peed in a bottle. There was nothing left to do but to start in on the coke. We rolled up the windows, busted out a cassette case (remember, this is 1987) and Rob lined ���em up. When it got to me, I had Nate take the wheel whilst I inhaled a big fat rail.

Then I passed out.

I regained consciousness to much screaming and ���holy shitting.��� I had apparently been out for a good 10 seconds, during which Nate had the wheel, but not the accelerator or more importantly, the brakes. Luckily, we were on I-5 and it was around 11:30 at night, which meant no cars and no steering needed. I did learn that I have a leadfoot when unconscious as our speed neared the magic 120 MPH mark. This is knowledge that is useful to this day.

Of course, as soon as things calmed down, we laughed it off and in defiance of fate, or more likely the result of being young and stupid, we each did another line. Hooray for us! We eventually made it to Costa Mesa in one piece, whereupon we commenced in more indulgences. Fucking hell, my sons are never leaving the house.

So yeah, on second thought, there is no doubt that this was the stupidest thing I have ever done. Cliff diving on acid ain���t shit. Fun, yes. Shit? No.

So, what's the stupidest thing you've ever done?