This is where my vestigal (job) hunting and gathering skills kick in.

Well hooray for me, I didn���t get the job! Yep, in two weeks when this contract is up, I am shit out of luck. Actually, I did get a response from a software company about a full time tech writer position, which would be fucking sweet. The guy asked for some writing samples, which I duly sent in a PDF file I pimped up with links and graphics and shit, yo. That was on Wednesday, and since I follow ���The Rules��⑩�� of job groveling, I always wait two (2) days before calling back, ���cause I ain���t desperate. I don���t NEED you. You don���t OWN me. (Of fucking shithell, PLEASE let me get this job.)

So yeah, I���ll call the guy today. Meanwhile, the Web department is getting moved into another room to make way for���fucking filing cabinets. Please insert your Office Space joke right *HERE*. What does that mean for me? It means I get to schlep all of my shit over there so I can sit idly for two more weeks until the guy they hired comes in. Then, on the Day of Leaving, I get to choose whether I want to take it in the ass from management, or just blow the new guy before the door slams on me. Decisions, decisions���

I am quickly running out of options. I know this because I am planning to call the Two Uncles of Last Resort. As Mafioso as that sounds, they are my actual uncles, both very successful and jocular and small-talkin��� cheetahs with whom I have no relationship with aside from awkward convos at family gatherings. Oh yeah, and my cousin, who aspires to become uncle-like. So that���s three very successful family members who may have job leads. Fuck. I hate this shit.

Things I have learned:

Although I got my current gig through Monster, in general, Monster, sucks ass. Or rather, it is so well known that the competition for jobs is crazy. Plus, the listings are never that industry specific, at least not for the tech industry.

Dice, on the other hand, rocks. They specialize in tech jobs. There are new, relevant job postings almost daily.

Craigslist is the best���if you live in the Bay Area. If you live in the Sacramento area, it sucks���ass. Maybe in a year or so, when it becomes more widely used, it will be helpful.

Networking is the best way to get a job. It is also the thing that I suck the greatest at. I mean it. I sure do suck at schmoozing.

OK, so this blog may be a little obsessed and frantic for the next few weeks. It may result in the euphoric celebration of my new, lucrative gig. It may also result in a quickly spiraling depression vortex. Who knows? Stay tuned���