<--DOCTYPE html PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN" "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd"> Rising Like A Trout: Moniker

Friday, May 21, 2004

Moniker

I still don't know what to call this thing, so I'm changing the title on a daily basis until one sticks. Candidates so far:

Championship of Sexy - I really like this one, because it implies that, like, I'm a champ and I'm dead sexy.

El Kabong's Controlled Blasting - I was in Safeway getting my morning donut and the guy in front of me at the cashier line was wearing a jacket with "Dave's Controlled Blasting, Inc." written on back. I'm assuming his company is some sort of demolition outfit, but I like the vaguely pornographic ring to it, especially the controlled part. Very considerate of him to control his blasting, don't you think, ladies?

Holy Spirit Mobile Forces - On NPR this morning, there was a report from Uganda about the awful shit that's been going down there for the past 17 years. Apparently, and I had never heard of this before, a civil war has been raging, instigated by a group that calls itself the Holy Spirit Mobile Forces. It was founded by a lady who claims she is channeling the spirit of a dead Italian soldier. And this dead Italian soldier apparently wants the limbs of Ugandan babies to be hacked off. OK, we've all heard that one before, right, but it doesn't end there. Recently, a splinter group has risen, calling itself the Lord's Resistance Army. It is led by a 17 year old boy who claims the dead Italian soldier has decided to switch mediums and make his wish for hacked off baby limbs to be carried out through this kid. So now the lucky Ugandans have two (2) low rent John Edward's wreaking havoc on their country.

I could go on a rant about how Europe has totally fucked that entire continent by carving out "countries" with no regard for native borders, and then pulling out like a porn star, leaving the African people to wipe the jism of a century of imperialism off their collective chests. (And the Europeans didnt even give them a towel!). Or how the hodge podge of African and Christian religions, while sometimes quite beautiful (check out this!), usually winds up half-baked and dangerous. Or how I've mentioned onanism twice in today's post. But really, I just thought Holy Spirit Mobile Forces was a pretty fucking cool name.

Brevity is Joyce Dewitt - The original title. I thought of this probably 10 years ago, and it always struck me as hilarious, but it just isn't, really.

I could put this up to a vote, but I'm pretty sure that I am the only one who has seen this blog as of yet.

Hello...! ?

Also...
What up with the threesomes on daytime televison! ? I was eating lunch in the lunchroom and because I work in the Marketing department with a bunch of ladies, some soap opera was on the teevee. In one scene, the soap queen was the main ingredient of a soap queen sandwich, with two soap dudes playing the part of the bread. I guess three-way action, much like lesbiansim and S&M, is now ready-for-prime-time behavior. To this I say....Sweet!