Class of 2011

Youthful antics are generational, in nature, and possibly progressing at an exponential rate. To whit:

My dad and his best friend from high school were reminiscing one night over a few drinks about the things they pulled back in the day. They consisted of such impossibly wholesome and endearing pranks like sneaking "cans of beer" on to the bus during senior trip, going barefoot at graduation, getting into lighthearted brawls that ended with genial back-slapping all around, etc.

As I listened, I grew sad because I thought of the things I did back in the day and I realized I would not be able to laugh about them with my son when he is in his 30's. My youth consisted of a series of pharmaceutical adventures and driving. And some stealing. And playing onstage while drunk and naked.

The thing is, if there were anybody besides myself reading this, and if those imaginary people were around my age (the dreaded Gen X), then there would be nothing in my back catalogue of experiences to shock them, because, as I said, youthful antics are generational, and you couldn���t swing a dead cat back in the 90���s without hitting some drunken idiot up onstage with his pants around his ankles and getting dead cat blood all over him.

So, the question is, will I feel comfortable discussing these things with my kids? Will the passing of time dull whatever shock value my antics once held, and render them harmless; quaint, even? And if so, just what in the hell will my kids be up to!? Shit, at the rate youthful antics have been progressing, they���ll probably be giving each other cranial adrenaline injections, passing around their genetically engineered, detachable genitals, all while wearing pants made out of pure HEROIN.

I weep for the future���