Meta-Spam

I'm thinking of becoming a freelance spam writer.

-----Original Message-----
From: bob [mailto:bob@yobob.com]
Sent: Friday, January 16, 2004 11:49 AM
To: ���Jim���
Subject: RE: That question you had

Are you tired of having your email account clogged with unwanted spam? Do you want to regain control of your online life? Shouldn���t you be able to download midget porn without worrying about your email address being sold to unscrupulous third parties?

Now you can! Meta-Spam is offering, for a limited time, a free 3-month trial offer! Just reply to this email and your account will be set up automatically! It couldn���t be any easier!

Once your account has been activated, Meta-Spam will begin scouring the Web for possible spammers. Meta-Spam���s patented software uses incredibly complex algorithms and shit to get tough on spam! This quantum leap in programming was designed by a team of Pakistani refugees who work for pennies on the dollar! You would be amazed at how much work they do for so little. Why, in the past 2 months alone, Meta-Spam has saved untold thousands of dollars by firing the entire American based programming department and hiring eager Third World denizens just itching to put their skills to work! !! But Meta-Spam has digressed.

After the initial trial period has expired, you can continue using Meta-Spam for only $39.99 a month. And the best part is, there is no obligation to continue! None whatsoever!! However, it will be virtually impossible to STOP using Meta-Spam; even if you really want to! The cancellation process can be downloaded from the Meta-Spam home page (www.meta-spam.com), which may or may not be up, depending on the whim of our outsourced Web maintenance team. If you would like to cancel your account and find that our Web site is down, you can call 1-888-555-1234. There, you will be put on hold for a minimum of 20 minutes and be forced to listen to the Best of Richard Clayderman on a 30-second loop.

If, after the requisite 20 minutes, you still wish to continue the cancellation process, an operator will assist you. Our operators have been trained in passive-aggressive customer retention techniques that are futile to resist. For real, you WILL be assimilated, yo.

So act NOW! Before NOW becomes THEN!!

Regards,

Meta-Spam